birth story

Even though I had gone past my due date three out of four pregnancies, for some reason I really felt like I wouldn't/shouldn't with this one. Maybe it was paranoia because of my age, or maybe it was because my mom lost her fifth baby after her due date. My favorite midwife (Ramona) was on call the weekend of March 13-March 16, and at my appointment with her on Friday the 13th, she stripped my membranes and scheduled me to come to the hospital that Sunday the 15th. I really thought I would go into labor on my own that weekend, I was already at a three, and everything else indicated that it would be really soon. I had been walking like crazy and had had way more contractions prior to going into real labor than I ever had. 

When I called the hospital on Sunday afternoon to confirm my 2:00pm time to go in for the 'gels' to get things going, I was told that they were "currently full" and that it would probably be a "few more hours" before they would get me in. That "few more hours" turned in to a few more days! All Sunday night I expected a call. When I checked in with them on Monday--my due date--I was told that I was next on the list. I had given up getting a call when they finally called on Friday afternoon! I've always gone into labor completely on my own and so it was a bit strange to calmly walk in--especially compared to Hewitt's birth when he was born exactly 30 minutes after arriving in the hospital parking lot! We got to the hospital at 2:30 and got all checked in. At 4pm they gave me the gel. For those not familiar, here is a description of the gel:  

"Prostaglandin gel: This gel, which is applied directly to your cervix, contains the hormone prostaglandin. Prostaglandin softens your cervix and helps prepare it to stretch out for labor. The application of the gel should be painless; some women have mild irritation or cramping afterwards. For some women the use of the gel alone is enough to start contractions within a few hours."

The trouble with the gel is that they told me I had to lie flat on my back. It was so uncomfortable and the contractions started immediately. After holding still for 60 minutes I was then asked to walk the halls for 30 minutes. I was having contractions every two to three minutes, yet was still able to talk and was acting pretty normal--would just have to slow down or stop during the actual contractions. After the walking they checked me and I was only at a 4 which was really surprising and discouraging! They started the next set of gels at 6:00 (they can do up to three, and they thought they would only need one set with me). This second gel was just about the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my life! I couldn't wait the full hour and at 6:55 I told the nurse that I had to get off of my back and go to the bathroom. She was a newer labor and delivery nurse and she was totally paranoid that I would have the baby in the bathroom. I assured her I wasn't ready to push yet. We went walking again, but this time the contractions were right after each other and I got pretty miserable, serious, and emotional. I didn't really get very far as I could hardly walk. I will also add here that it became apparent to me that Rob's throat was really hurting him (it had been sore off and on for awhile which seemed like spring allergies). Well, his throat got worse and he was taking really small sips of water and swallowing hard during our walk which really agitated me for some reason. We returned to the room at 7:35. 

At this point I was getting a little panicky and really worried that I wasn't going to be able to have the baby without getting an epidural! I knew I was messing with nature by using these gels and so I told the midwife on call that I wouldn't be able to sustain this for much longer! The midwife (Melissa) told me she was confident that I could do it and to trust in my body. Melissa suggested getting in the shower to relax and I was like, "there is no way I can move to do that." They grabbed a birthing ball and I sat on that with my head resting on the hospital bed. Rob was really awesome during this next part and was applying pressure to my back (which was KILLING me!) and was very encouraging. A new nurse had come on call  and she was also very encouraging. I started to feel the urge to push and when I announced this I was surprised to realize that Rob and I were the only ones in the room. Rob hit the call button and when they checked me at 8:33pm I was at a 7. At least it was some progress (right?) which gave me a little boost of confidence. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom again and the midwife made me promise I would not bear down on the toilet. I went to the bathroom (8:35) and as I was standing in the doorway on my way out, I felt the urge to push during a contraction and my water burst all over my feet, Rob's feet, and the floor. There was meconium on the floor so the midwife made a call for respiratory to come to my room and said the delivery would be quick. They suggested that I get on the bed on my hands and knees (I have always delivered on my back) and when I voiced my concern about tearing, the midwife assured me that this would be a really good position for me. I pushed only a couple of times and the baby was born at 8:40pm! It was really strange not to see what was going on! They had to rush him over to clear out his lungs. His cry sounded nice and healthy and they helped me get turned around pretty quickly to be able to hold him. Here are the first photos of them working on him:

Meeting baby boy:

We named this sweet little guy Truman Dunning Peterson.

I got to hold the baby for over an hour before they weighed him. We were laughing that he went to the bathroom three times before being weighed so his weight would have been heavier than 8.0 lbs had they done it right away.  

Truman meeting Daddy:

This was the one and only time Rob held him in the hospital. Rob was feeling worse and worse and ended up falling asleep on the couch before the nurses even left the room. He stayed asleep until about 3:30AM (he slept through baby screaming through me changing his diapers) and when he woke up his eye was swollen shut and goopy--pink eye! At that point I basically kicked him out, promising him that I wouldn't be mad (I really wasn't) but it was stressing me out more to have him there not feeling well and I certainly didn't want him passing on any of his germs to me or the baby! He left by 4:00AM and got on some antibiotics the next morning. Because Rob couldn't return to the hospital (he came back Sunday afternoon to bring us home), Aunt Sue was kind enough to come and stay with me Saturday afternoon and night.

Sue helped get some really cute photos of Tru on Saturday afternoon:

This next one is a favorite that I got with my phone:

Rob brought the kids to meet baby on Sunday afternoon. This picture captures Liv's excitement pretty well:

All of the kids were so happy to finally have him here!

Truman is very loved!

On our way home!

rewind

I've never gotten this behind on my blog before! Let's rewind back to January and hit a few highlights for the first few months of 2015.

January:

The boys decided to open bank accounts and put all of their Christmas money in as well as the other money they have saved up.  They are all savers and don't like spending their money. Liv was excited to go to Target and pick out some things. Here she is with her dogs and their carrier (purse). Liv really likes animals and wants to be a vet when she grows up (it's too bad she has parents that don't want any pets!). Her poses are always so entertaining.

Here is a fun shot of us siblings & spouses during the luncheon after my dad's memorial service. My cousins Jackie, Mark, Bob, and my Aunt Pat, were laughing (and embarrassed) about how small the flowers they ordered turned out to be (the photo online was different). After they left we made sure to get a photo of us all holding it up to send to them.

There is something else from the Memorial that I want to include (that I didn't mention in my last post). When I put on my gray top before the service I thought it looked a bit odd--my stomach seemed way bigger than the last time I had worn the top. I was in a big hurry and really distracted so I didn't give it much thought. A few hours later while I was greeting people after the memorial (after singing and speaking!) I realized the tag was in front--my shirt was on backwards! It was a shirt with pleats (think maternity top!) and so the pleats were on my back! Talk about embarrassing. It made me laugh really hard though which was nice. 

The girls I grew up singing with (Shelby, Lori, Erin, Jessica, Leslie) and our director (Janet) sent me the sweetest lockets with photos of my mom and dad. It was such a sweet surprise and left me speechless:

Tosh checked out a book from the school library all about the NFL and various records and facts about teams and players. The boys all really enjoyed it (see cute photo below of them looking at it together one night) and Rob commented that it was totally the type of book that he would have liked and read at their age. The boys are really getting interested in sports and know a ton about the NBA now (I'm jumping forward here but they have loved watching the NBA playoffs this spring). I guess they are more and more like Rob all the time :).

One Sunday after church I went to check on Tosh and Liv and found them playing "house" I guess? Tosh was literally in the doll house. Lol! 

February:
We had dinner at our friends' home, the Weeds, with the Lundells, on Super Bowl Sunday. I couldn't care less about the game, but thought that the kids would get a big kick out of these decorated sugar cookie bars (which they did!).

We made sugar cookies with the 'stained glass' candy window for Valentine's Day. My mom would make a personalized cookie for each kid in our school classes when we were growing up! She was the best room mother. Such a fun tradition.

My mom's decorating was much nicer than mine turned out, but still fun and yummy:

We got each of the boys a new basketball for Valentine's Day, and gave Liv some sidewalk chalk and a darling umbrella. The boys play basketball ALL. THE. TIME. now which is fantastic! They got all these balls stuck in the hoop at once which was a bit of a funny problem. (Also I should note that the palm that you see on the left in this photo became a real problem as the thorns popped a few of the balls! We ended up getting the boys new balls (again!) for Easter and Rob had to cut the tree down.)

In February we got the cutest 3D ultrasound photos of baby! They really do look so much like him.

I took Hewitt to "Science Night" at his school and went to the different displays and Hewitt did several of the activities. Here he is with his science fair group poster, done 100% at school:

My sister requested I send her a 'pregnant photo' so I did. This was at 36 and 1/2 weeks:

Hewitt designed and made his pinewood derby car all on his own this year (did it all during scouts). He was really hoping to come in last place and get the "Turtle" award, but ended up being more in the middle of the pack. They didn't do an award for last place as they have in years past anyway. The boys were all such good sports and they had a fun time. *Only* (ha!) six more cars to go. 

Burke earned his Life award in November, but got the actual award at a court of honor in February:

Rob met my brothers in Utah (late February) to help clear out my Dad's house and drive some things back here in a moving truck. It was quite miraculous how his house sold without having to put it on the market and how everything came together. My brothers and sister did A LOT of work getting the house emptied and ready to sell (I really appreciate it, guys!). I was too far along in my pregnancy to travel and I think I really lucked out as I don't think that would have been very easy for me (emotionally) to do. I guess one positive about losing my folks was how much my siblings and I spoke on the phone (or google chat video) to coordinate things and make decisions. I love them so much and wish we could be together in person more often.

One of the things Rob brought back was this ceramic pot (with flowers) we got for my mom for Mother's Day several years ago. I bought some flowers one morning (mostly petunias--something my mom always planted in our front yard at our house on Prospect Road) and was surprised at how much joy it has brought me to have in my front yard.

Our home elementary school does a huge picnic lunch to celebrate Dr. Suess's birthday. Rob joined me this year and we were able to eat with both Tosh and Liv. Liv had packed a huge bag of books to read and loved reading with her Daddy after eating:

Funny Hewitt pretending to DJ with the foot massager:

Tosh at the park--he isn't a fan of heights (he would scream as an older baby if I put him on a changing table!) but has come a long way.

Silly T trying to look all 'gangsta' (wearing Grandpa Dunning's San Francisco Giants hat and Grandma Dunning's necklace from Guam):

So my brother, Mark, took an AncestryDNA test and got some really interesting results. My Dad was adopted as an infant and never had any knowledge or interest in his birth parents or background. Based on the results it looks like my dad was half Jewish! There were over 3 million Ashkenazi Jews from Eastern Europe that immigrated to America between 1881 and 1920...maybe his birth parents or grandparents were in that group? It makes me so curious about his history. I find the whole thing very fascinating.

March:
Rob got a ton of citrus fruit from a woman at work and these three had a great time juicing one evening:

We took the kids out to dinner at The Spaghetti Factory (Hewitt has REALLY wanted to go there for a long time) on what we *thought* would be the last weekend as a family of six. The kids were excited that we were able to sit in the trolley:

We watched Kiefer and August the first couple of days of spring break. The kids love their cousins so much and it made things much more interesting as we weren't able to go out of town. Fun at the park:

This photo was a couple of days before my due date--on a day a stranger asked me if I was expecting twins! Nope. Just looking really big.

I'll share the details about the birth and timing of the delivery in my next post, but we were so excited to have my awesome sister down here to help with the kids while I had the baby. The trouble was that the baby came later than planned and she had to go home on what ended up being the day before he came! It was quite disappointing (that she didn't get to see the baby), but still so much fun to actually get to spend time together. We went for lots of walks, did a few projects, and she played lots of games with the kids. It was very helpful on what would otherwise have been a VERY long and boring week especially with the kids out on spring break.

Mindy made the most delicious chocolate mousse pie (with fresh strawberries!) on pi day (3.14.15).

Liv loved spending time with Aunt Mindy and they decided to paint 'swimming suits' on Liv's Barbie dolls one day. I think we had enough nail polish for each doll to have a different color suit. Thanks for visiting, Mindy!

I think those are the highlights for the 'first quarter' of 2015. Coming soon...the arrival of baby boy!

TMD

My dad was diagnosed with kidney failure about six months after my mom died. I believe it was in September about a week after my father-in-law had passed away. When he called to tell me I remember seriously asking him, "Are you joking!?!" as it was so surprising, and it felt as if we were losing our parents way too quickly (and often!). He wanted it kept quiet and so to respect his wishes I haven't posted a word about it on here. My dad went about living his life just as he wanted to--even serving another mission.  The reports we continued to get were that the doctors were very surprised at how well he was doing and how much energy he had (with his low and dropping numbers).  It was such a blessing that his life was extended as long as it was. The weekend before Christmas is when he really started not feeling very well and he became increasingly tired.  I scheduled a trip out to visit, but things progressed much faster than anyone expected. I have joked that Dad wasn't the most patient person :) and although I'm sure he would have liked to see me again, I also would venture that he had zero interest in any of us (kids) crying at his bedside in his final days. I'm sure it's been very frustrating for him the last few months to not have the energy to be about doing and serving as he loved.  

My dad passed away around 5pm on Tuesday, January 6th. When Helen called to tell me, she said that he looked up at the corner of the room as if someone was coming to take him away, took one more breath and was gone.  

Although it gives me some level of comfort to think of my parents together again, I'd certainly rather them both still be here (obviously). It's really a lot to try to digest and doesn't quite seem real. Emotionally, losing my dad has been much more internal for me and I've dealt with it more privately than when I lost my mom. Knowing my dad was sick would really hit me at certain times during the past couple of years--  it's pretty horrible anticipating when someone you love may pass away; always wondering how much time you have left. It was such a life-changing event to be with my mom during the last month of her life and to be at her bed when she passed away. Although I would have loved to see my dad again, I feel at peace knowing that nothing was left unsaid and I know he knows how much I love him. 

A favorite photo of mine after a college performance my dad drove out to see me in.

The night that Dad passed we quickly began making plans and decided to have the burial in Franklin, Idaho that Saturday, and the memorial service the following Monday. Since I already had a flight booked for early Friday morning (to visit him), Rob and I decided that I would keep that flight to get there a little sooner and Rob would drive up to Utah with the kids that day. Little did we know that this plan would lead to a great deal of stress, and a complete meltdown for me! Rob and I left our home for the Mesa airport at 4:30am, having gotten very little sleep the night before (I had not been sleeping well that entire week before, worrying about my dad). My flight was fairly on-time, but once we arrived in Provo we circled the Provo airport for over 45 minutes due to fog. I wasn't too worried at first but as they kept making announcements I began to stress and started praying for a miracle. They then announced that we were going to fly into Ogden, but then almost immediately changed course and announced that we were returning to Mesa! This was so distressing to me that I couldn't help but burst into tears and seriously could not stop crying for the rest of the flight.  I was a complete mess! I felt so bad for the man sitting next to me (I also spilled my ice water on him, poor guy). I had no way to make contact with Rob and was thinking that he would already be to Flagstaff by the time I landed in Mesa! I was ultimately concerned with how I was going to make it to Utah in time and knew for sure that I needed to get there that day (they canceled our flight until Saturday morning!). Luckily, Rob got a late start, and had only driven about an hour before turning around to come back and pick me up. We ended up arriving in American Fork by about 10:30pm. It had been an emotional and exhausting day, but I was so thankful to be with my husband and kids and to know that we would make it in time for the burial the next day.

On Saturday (the 10th), my sister and brothers and I arrived at the funeral home by 8:00am and had some time to see our dad before the others arrived. Although it probably sounds odd to describe someone as "looking good" after they have passed, he really did (although very thin). Rob and I were discussing (on our drive up to Franklin) how different the body looks without the spirit. I think it really is a testimony to our Heavenly Father's plan, and that this earth life is just one small portion of our eternal existence. 

I have made the comment to several people that I always seem to visit the Franklin Cemetery in the dead of winter.  Every burial I have attended there has been in the cold winter months. That Saturday was no exception--a very foggy, cold, and frosty day. The weather did seem fitting and I am reminded of Elder Joseph B. Worthlin's talk called "Sunday Will Come" as we can all look forward to the rebirth of spring (the Resurrection). 

One highlight of the day was meeting my great-niece for the first time! Little Aura Belle, named after my Grandpa, Aura Hatch. Here is a photo of my niece Melanie introducing Aura Belle to my Aunt Pat:

Melanie and Aura Belle by her namesake's grave:

The headstone for my parents was unfortunately dirty (and kind of difficult to get to).  My cousin Jackie and her husband Mark were sweet to bring several bouquets of flowers to put on all the graves of our family buried there. My mom loved spring flowers, and my Dad's favorite color was red (even though he was a huge BYU fan).

The flowers really were a beautiful contrast in the fog:

A rare photo with all my siblings and our spouses:

It was a busy week (and weekend) making arrangements of planning the service, writing the obituary, and putting together a video of photos of my dad's life. As I was going through a few albums I came across this gem that is so my dad: Fixing something out in the garage at our Prospect house. I love that he is wearing his green stained shoes (only worn to mow the lawn).

On Sunday afternoon we started the big task of going through my dad's things. We set out all of my dad's hats and ties and let everyone choose something to keep. He really liked hats (and jackets):

All of the grandchildren (except Alex, who is on a mission) modeling some of their choices:

I felt that the service on Monday went well. I was blessed (and certainly had help from above) to completely keep it together emotionally and sing a duet with Rob ("Jesus the Very Thought of Thee") as well as speak.  With all the events of the weekend, I really felt that both our parents would have been "well pleased" with how everything was handled and I'm sure they could feel how much we (their children) love and appreciate them.

Link to my Dad's video (I hope this works!)

The obituary:

Thomas M Dunning 1935-2015

Thomas M Dunning, beloved husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, brother and friend, died at his home in American Fork, Utah on Tuesday, January 6, 2015, due to complications from renal failure, at the age of 79.

Tom was born November 6, 1935 in Sacramento, CA and was adopted two days later by Jack G and Helen Falck Dunning. He grew up in Marysville, CA and graduated from Marysville High School in 1955. He served an LDS mission to Texas and Louisiana, served in the US Army (1958-1964), and received his Bachelor's Degree in 1963 from Brigham Young University. He married Maryana Hatch Dunning in the Salt Lake City LDS temple in 1965, and returned to school to receive a master's degree from BYU in 1969, and his Ph D in Recreation Resources Administration from Colorado State University in 1979. Tom and Maryana settled in Fort Collins, CO where they lived for 32 years and raised their four children. Tom worked for Colorado State University from 1970-2001 and was a director of conference housing. Tom and Maryana moved to American Fork, Utah after retirement and served three LDS missions to Guam Micronesia, South Africa Cape Town, and Texas Houston South. They also fulfilled service missions in the Translation Department and in Humanitarian Services. In their 47 years of marriage, Tom and Maryana exhibited service to the fullest, and their influence for good has been felt throughout the world and has blessed the lives of others. After Maryana's passing, Tom married Helen Farnsworth Sharp in 2012. Together they served in the New Jersey Morristown Mission. In addition to church and community service, Tom was very dedicated to the Boy Scouts of America and served several times as a scoutmaster, as well as a district committee member, and as a Wood Badge training committee member. He was a very devoted friend and neighbor, and delighted in helping and befriending anyone he came in contact with. He was a hard-working, faithful man who made service to God and others his top priority.

Tom is survived by his beloved wife, Helen; his children, Mindy (David Linton), Sequim, WA; Mark (Katherine), Littleton, CO; Todd (Tracey), Clovis, CA; Tamsen (Rob Peterson), Chandler, AZ; Helen's four children and their families; 16 grandchildren aged 26 to 5 years (with one on the way); one great-grandchild (with one on the way); and his sister, Sandra Noel.  He was predeceased in death by his wife, Maryana, and his parents. 

Memorial services will be held at 11 am on Monday, January 12, at the LDS chapel, 396 North 1100 East, in American Fork, Utah.  Interment at the Franklin Cemetery in Franklin, Idaho. In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints General Missionary Fund.

I can't adequately express all of the things I have felt over the past month, and my gratitude for such a wonderful father (and mother). I will treasure this photo that was taken (in May 2014) when my dad was here in Arizona for Burke's priesthood ordination. I want to share something here that I shared in my talk at the memorial: When we were visiting my dad in July, I was really struggling as I suspected I was pregnant, could see that my dad's health was declining, and I was really missing my mom. Everyone else was outside, and I went in my dad's room and snuggled up next to him on the bed as he was watching the 4th of July fireworks on TV. I don't think he had any idea how emotional I was feeling. Sort of randomly (maybe he sensed how vulnerable and scared I was feeling) my dad offered some advice that I will always treasure: "Love your children, love your husband, live the gospel, and nothing else really matters."

I LOVE YOU, DAD!!! 
 "See ya, bye."